See My Change

ENG 101
Prof. Dowling
Lorita Zhen Chen
Two Part Essay Once/Now

Once I was a dependent girl who lived under my parents' protection; now I am an independent and confident lady who can take care of herself without relying on others. Multicultural cities like New York make people strong. The change was painful. As I left my parents to go to the United States, I changed.

Chinese culture differs from American culture. Gender differences still exist in many features of daily life in China. In upper class families, young girls do not need to do housework. Generally, people will hire maidservants to take care of the house. My family, which still lives in China, is one of those kinds of families. My parents have always had two servants to help with the household chores. My life was not bad in China. My father used to be the chief of a Chinese government’s Legal Department, and I am the only Child in my family. When I was born, the negative impact of family planning led to many families abandon baby girls, but fortunately, it did not affect my dad. He always treated me like the apple in his eyes. Dad and mom did not ask me to do any housework because we had two maidservants to dust the house and do other household duties. I was so coddled by my parents that I never even washed a plate until I came to America. If I needed anything, my parents gave me the money I wanted, and I got whatever I wanted. My life was very comfortable.

I remember, a year ago, I decided to study in America, but my parents strongly opposed to the idea. I understood what they were worried about. Because I had never lived alone, they were concerned that if I should go to an unfamiliar country without parents and maidservants, who would take care of me? However, I did not think about the future. I just decided to leave and wanted to try a different lifestyle. Nobody could stop me. Even though I knew my mom secretly cried several times and often blamed me for being a disobedient daughter, she still could not prevent me from leaving.

However, dreams are always easier than reality. I never image how hard it would be to make my dream come true. On the first day I arrived in America, the first and the most important job I had to find a place of my own to live. At that time, I temporarily lived in a house of my mom’s friend in Brooklyn. After clicking on numerous websites and looking for many apartments that were advertised in local magazines, I found that most of them were expensive and far from my college. The date of the new term approached, but I still had not settled down. When I almost gave up, my mom’s friend suggested that I take a look at some Chinese newspapers. Following her advice, I finally found a suitable place in Valley Stream. I was now on my own.

I also found a driving school. I remember the day I had the road test. It took me almost six hours to go back and forth between school and the road test point. That day, I got up extra early to catch a bus for the first class; then after class, I caught another bus from NCC to Flushing in order to take the road test on time. That afternoon, it began to rain, and the road test was to take place in five minutes later. I didn’t experience driving in the rain before and this made me very nervous. I passed the test. I was so excited. That meant I could drive a car from then on instead of getting up early to catch a bus and spending more time on the way. That night, I called my mom and dad in China. They sounded very surprised at how independent I had become. In the days that followed, I always let them know when I learned some new skills and principles about America. My behaviors showed them that I could adapt to the new environment, and I can solve any problem. I proved that their worry was unnecessary.

Studying in the United States alone, I have to do everything myself from washing a plate to bargaining with the seller to buying a car. However, I have learned a lot from leading such an independent life. Once I was a self-centered girl, who did not know how it would feel to be independent, but now I do and I like it.